Love Still Counts
It is common to have an argument with one’s spouse, especially on little things. Little things may then become big. And big things become bigger issues. Because we are human, we tend to go overboard in arguments. Sometimes, we hurt our spouses badly by saying things that we are not supposed to say. Sometimes, we may utter words unintentionally – but in the end, we break their hearts. The worst part about all this is that, when you say something, it is OUT there already. You cannot take it back. Those words may hurt you so badly that you will remember forever.
But, where do we go after that? Do we say sorry and forget things? Forget the argument that you just had? In your next unplanned argument, would you start reminding your spouse that he or she had hurt you with those words before? Or do you work so hard to make things work in your marriage that you sacrifice your own happiness? And then you think to yourself, when is all this ever going to end?
I found a helpful article from the Young Muslims of Australia on Adab within the Muslim Family. It outlines six tips for discussions and agreements:
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Begin with the intention to resolve the issue.
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Remember that it takes two to quarrel.
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Both spouses should not be angry at the same time.
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Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
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Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
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If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate.
And the most important thing to remember when arguing, is it worth it? Is it worth the hurt, the tears, the pain?
Life is about sacrifices. Being married is to love, and to give. Because, loving is about giving. And in giving, how we give is more important than how much we give. And love still counts….
